Revisiting Painful Places

Facing the Past to Forge Your Future: The Purpose of Painful Visits. 

As a writer, vulnerability is essential, even when it’s one of the hardest things to offer. This particular lesson forced me to look back at people and places I would honestly rather forget. Over the past year, as I’ve mentally and emotionally revisited these pain points, I've noticed a recurring question rising in my heart: Does God allow us to return to the people and places that caused us pain to test our growth and see how we will respond? 

I believe the answer is profoundly yes.

The Test of Returning

This question brought to mind the story of Jephthah in the book of Judges (Chapter 11). Jephthah was a mighty man of valor, yet he was rejected and cast out of his father’s house by his brothers because his mother was a "harlot." (Judges 11:1-3).

Jephthah fled and lived among "worthless men." But a time came when his brothers, the elders of Gilead, found themselves in desperate need of help against the Ammonites. They went seeking the very man they had cast out:

"Did you not hate me, and expel me from my father’s house? Why have you come to me now when you are in distress?” (Judges 11:7)

Like Jephthah, we may be tempted to ask, "Why should I help when you hated me?" Yet, Jephthah did not allow his pain to eclipse his purpose or his awareness that God was still with him. He agreed to help, but only after confirming their commitment before the Lord.

I believe God allows us to revisit painful places to test our spiritual growth and offer us a chance for healing and reconciliation. It is an opportunity to demonstrate the grace and mercy He has shown us, allowing us to experience the deep power of forgiveness and peace.

The Clarity of Self-Reconciliation

It's never easy to rise above deep hurt. But when we allow God to work within us, we gain clarity. I had to acknowledge that while some problems are beyond my control, my responses were not. I realized that if I had responded differently in certain past situations, I might have avoided some of the hurt and pain I endured.

Mistakes are a necessary part of growth. However, when we refuse to identify and confront the fault that lies within our own reactions, we fail to grow. We remain stuck in self-pity and sabotage, continually blaming others. I had to come to terms with the fact that my actions, even if they felt justified at the time, could have yielded different, peaceful results if my response had been different.

This realization brought me freedom and clarity. By God's grace, I know that should I encounter a similar situation, I will be equipped to respond in a way that leads to a peaceful resolution. This ability to see a different response or resolution is essential for personal development.

Pruning for Purpose: The Healing Process

Honestly, when the Lord was first processing me through these painful memories, I wanted to run. I would rather relive getting stung by a bee as a child—a painful week, but finite—than revisit the "cold, dark chambers" of my past hurts. Yet, as I went through the healing process, I felt every past emotion as if it were happening all over again.

Why would God subject us to this?

Jesus tells us, "Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit." (John 15:2)

Revisiting the places of pain is a form of pruning. God wants us to grow and be fruitful. He takes us through this process to uproot anything we’ve locked away or buried in our hearts, ensuring we are not walking around with unhealthy trigger points. These unhealthy reference points dictate how we respond to current situations, often causing us to react in fear or anger instead of faith. We must surrender the deeds of the flesh and learn to live by the Spirit (Romans 8:12-14).

Sometimes people treat us badly because they feel threatened by the purpose God has placed on our lives, just as Pharaoh feared the growing strength of Israel (Exodus 1). The enemy will use people and situations to try and sift the life out of you.

The Father loves us too much to leave us in a hurting state. When we hurt, we build walls of protection. Often, these very walls that protect us from pain are the same walls that prevent us from fully receiving God's love and grace.

Your Call to Action

If you are hurting today, the time for superficial healing is over. You must allow God to go deep and prune you for the greater purpose He has planned.

The painful process will not be easy, but you can lean on the Holy Spirit for strength. Just as Jephthah did not allow his past to stop him from serving his people, you must ask yourself: "When someone who hurt you inevitably needs your help, how will you respond?" Will you allow your pain to keep you from demonstrating God's love and mercy? 

Have the spirit of Jephthah: take their request before the Lord and allow Him to lead you.

If you are ready to face the difficult places of your past so you can walk confidently into your God-given future, the journey starts with an intentional step.

Click here to get your copy of my book, "Overcome to Fulfill Your Purpose" and gain the spiritual tools to navigate your painful past and embrace the freedom of your destiny.